I spent a great deal of Saturday teary-eyed. I was going through old photos and working on scanning and sorting, reading the kids school journals from grade school and it totally depressed me.

They were such cute kids. Don’t get me wrong, they got on my nerves plenty; but they were mine and I loved them so much. It kills me that they are growing up and leading their own lives. Raylee is almost 18 and although he doesn’t have the life experience, he’s basically a man. One with his own thoughts and agenda. He’s rarely at home and it breaks my heart that he’s not my “little” boy anymore.

Tia has turned into a beautiful girl. She’s so pretty. She’s also 16 (in Aug) and full of 16-year old attitude. She has no idea how much I love her.

At an early age I had my life totally planned out. It didn’t include kids or living in Arkansas or struggling to make ends meet or a host of other things. But life has a way of not following a plan. As John Donne once said, “No man is an island” and even though that was written many many years ago, it is true.

Empty nest. My little birds are beginning to fly on their own and they don’t want or need my help. After being “needed” for so many years and wishing I could do whatever I wanted, now that my time in life is here….I don’t want it. I want them to need me because I need them.

We used to have a poem back in high school. If you love something, set it free. Truly much easier said than done.