Postscript at the Start
It’s been a long while since I last examined my rock pile. Life gets messy and busy, and sometimes self-care falls by the wayside.
That large rock from 2008 represented one of the scariest times in my life. I was under investigation as part of a mortgage fraud scheme involving a strawman. I didn’t even know what strawman meant at the time. But a good criminal lawyer stepped in, presented my case to the district attorney, and, thankfully, my name was cleared before the grand jury ever met. The charges were dropped, and the lawyer didn’t even bill me.
A New Burden, A New Beginning
This past month, I placed another big rock on the pile: a major personal financial need was met. I’ll admit, I cried on the phone with the representative. The relief I felt during that call released a tremendous amount of stress, and it has enabled me to move forward with renewed hope and positivity.
I hope that I don’t get too busy or depressed, to keep building this pile. Taking time to reflect on the good things in life really does improve its quality.
Sometimes the heaviest stones become our foundation.
It’s really hard to believe it’s a new year. 2008 passed by so quickly. This year, like often before, I find myself looking at a simple pile of rocks that tells the story of my life. My rock pile began years ago after I heard a message at church about an altar out of earth and stone in the wilderness. The message went on to state that each stone meant something to the builder. I’ve forgotten who preached the message, but it made an impact and since then, I’ve built my own virtual rock pile. Admittedly, it started out quite small, with only a few stones, but has grown over the years.
Each rock means something special to me. If someone looked at my rock pile, all they would see would be rocks: rocks from the yard, rocks from the creek bed, rocks in every shape, size, and color. This year, the rock pile has a greater meaning for me than in previous years. I hope to be able to add a giant rock to the pile in a few days as a stressful personal and business matter is resolved.
There are stones that represent times I’ve been healed or passed a particularly hard exam. There are stones for groceries and stones for needs or desires, and there are even some stones that represent nothing at all. Some of the stones are there because God supplies my needs, but also gives me the desires of my heart. Some of those desires haven’t panned out the way I thought they would, and I’ve kept those stones to remind me that what I want isn’t always what is most beneficial. Some stones represent things I’ve repeatedly asked for. These are requests that, as far as I can tell, remain unanswered.
It’s the beginning of a new year, and once again it’s time to reflect on the rocks in my pile. As I said, I hope to add a large rock to it in a few days. The great thing about adding rocks is that I stop carrying them around and place them on my personal altar.
I’ve learned to build my own rock pile over time. It doesn’t exist in the real world, but in my heart and mind. I take time to examine each stone, turn it over in my memory, and remember why I kept it.
Some of the stones are set in mortar; they will always be there to remind me and form a solid foundation. Some are loose. I never know when I might experience a moment of self-doubt or agony and feel like throwing one. Some stones may come and go in my memories, but the ones that truly matter stay with me. They are forever in the back of my mind, reminding me of the path I’ve chosen in life.
Reflections on Healing
As I reflect on my rock pile this year, I’m reminded that letting go and remembering can happen at the same time. If you’ve never built a symbolic reminder of your own journey, maybe this year is the year to begin. I’d love to hear of a rock you’ve used to ground your life.
God bless, and Happy New Year.
Written January 1, 2009
Revisited and revised May 2025
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Russell Lormand, a great message – I think of it often.
Totally awesome story! I loved this one, keep it up. Hope everything will be better this year! Much love, Raquel XO
Whenever you add a new rock do you stop and reminisce at other the previous rocks?
That’s what I would do. Reminisce on the good and bad times throughout the year and how life is going by so fast.
Amari,
Most certainly.
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