Looking back at the year 2011 clearly presents an argument for the old saying “hindsight is 20/20.” There were some things I wish I had reacted to differently and others that couldn’t have played out any better. It was a short year, of course, since turning 40 all years have seemed short. Case in point, the year I had to wait to get my driver’s license at age 16 lasted forever–not to mention the eternity it took for church camp to roll around each summer. Today, the previous month is over before I’m fully aware that it began!
The year started off kind of crazy and scary (just like the end of 2008 only better); however, this strengthened my resolve to find a new career path. With a renewed interest and desire, I managed to complete my undergrad degree. I may have been the oldest graduate in Henderson’s class of 2011 but I was also the one with the biggest smile. It was a wonderful feeling to finish something I started when dirt was young. Not to out-do myself, I jumped right back into school to get my master’s degree. If all goes well, I should have that completed by the end of 2012.
Something I learned about myself during the past year is that I didn’t take the time to enjoy my children while they were small. I was so busy making sure everything was right and trying to fit my family of pegs into the holes where I thought they should be that I missed enjoying their laughter. I spent more time correcting than hugging my children. Now they are young adults and the hugs aren’t as important to them. They are both trying to live their own lives and I’m desperately grasping at keeping them small and close to me.
I came to the realization this past year that I lived a lot of my life being uptight and controlling. I’m learning to relax now, to accept people for who they are and not who I want or expect them to be. I’m learning that everybody doesn’t like my brand of humor or personality and that’s ok, I no longer feel as if I have to please everyone. It’s taken me 40 years of growing to realize that life isn’t perfect and to quit expecting perfection.
I’ve set some personal goals for myself during the next year. I hesitate to say I’ve made New Year’s Resolutions as that always set me up for failure. Goals or milestones are easier to obtain and if I don’t reach those goals, I’m ok with that as long as I keep trying.
2012—ready or not, here I come. I expect success this year, to expect any less is failure. Success isn’t measured by how much money there is in my pocket, and that’s a good thing as any money I have never makes it to my pocket. Success is measured by the love, peace and contentment in my life. I’m beginning the New Year with words from my Grandpa Hobbs, “Truly, I love the Lord.” There’s not a better way to kick off success in 2012.
I remember feeling this way when I had to waiting to get my driver’s license too, but learning to relax is still an important lesson I’ve yet to learn which causes me to get stressed out over several things and causes me to have trouble balancing work, social and school life.
Your story has reminded me that life isn’t measured by how much money someone makes, but by the quality of the life that is lead. I still haven’t decided on what I want to do for a career.
Honestly, I think it is crazy how time seems so relative to whatever your age is. The older I get the more I have begun to realize this and seem to notice the time flying by me more and more. I can most definitely relate to always desiring perfection in all areas of life and wanting everyone to like my type of personality, but recently I have finally come to grips with the reality that these things do not always happen in life. However, I have also come to the conclusion that since I have accepted this as fact, it feels like contentment has come much more naturally.