My First 5K Run: More Phoebe Buffay Than Olympian

Before my first 5K run, I used to notice how runners in the Olympics and at track meets looked so lean and perfectly in sync. Their arms and legs pumped rhythmically. Torsos slightly bent. Nostrils flaring on the inhale, mouths parted on the exhale. You could even see their abs expand and contract as they breathed. It was amazing.

Everything on me jiggles when I run.
My arms, my thighs, even parts I didn’t know could jiggle. That’s one reason I’ve always hated running. And yet, on a perfectly good Saturday, I found myself at a track doing a 5K.

Not because I signed up for a race. It was just the CrossFit workout of the day. I thought we’d be lifting or flinging heavy things around. Instead, I was jogging-ish in endless circles while my stopwatch app acted like a coach who refused to give up. It cheered me on with every lap, as if this were my big comeback story.

Back in 2011, I joined CrossFit Hot Springs, a local gym that introduced me to workouts I didn’t even know I was strong enough (or uncoordinated enough) to attempt. I had been to boot camp and the gym, but those just were not working for me. CrossFit seemed a bit different, so I decided to give it a try. I discovered that I was both stronger and weaker than I thought. I could do things called back squats, clean and jerks, push presses, and other exercises using heavy weights—at least, heavy for me.

One Saturday morning, the local group workout of the day was to meet at the track and run 5K. I did not know 5K was the same as 12 laps around the football track—about three miles? If so, I may not have shown up that morning.

Normally, I tried to sleep in on Saturday mornings. However, that morning, I had set my alarm so I could go to the track. I was all enthused. Oh wait, that wasn’t me—that was the instructor. He was a regular Pollyanna.

I stretched, yawned, jumped around, and tried to wake up. I messed with my phone (since it had music now) and found the stopwatch thing so I could time myself. Then, off I went. I picked the smallest circle to run in since it looked shorter.

I jogged along with some four-beat country music in my ears, yawning and just trying to keep my feet moving. The first couple of laps weren’t awful. They took a little over eight minutes, which was more than fine to me.

By the third lap, I figured out how to time individual laps on my phone. That made me feel like I kind of knew what I was doing. Not quite runner-level, but definitely runner-adjacent.

Laps four and five were a mix of jogging the long sides and walking the short ends. On lap six, I only managed to jog one short side but still finished in about four minutes.

By then, my shins were screaming and begging me to stop running or even standing. They weren’t just sore. They were staging a rebellion. I seriously considered listening to them.

Lap seven was a full-body negotiation. No running, more like a walk and an upright crawl. I had to call it quits. Twenty-eight minutes of my morning, gone in a blur of black circles.

Lessons Learned from My First 5K Run

I was not a runner. I didn’t enjoy running and enjoyed it even less after that day. My legs may have pumped along like those of Olympic runners, but there was no grace, leanness, or in-sync motion in any of my movements. Feet pumping, mouth wide open with loud, heaving gasps of air, torso bent forward in the hopes that I would reach my goal sooner rather than later, and arms flailing wildly like a windmill.

My spouse said I looked like Phoebe in the episode titled “The One Where Phoebe Runs” (Season 6, Episode 7). Trust me, that was not a compliment.

Needless to say, I didn’t develop a love for running. But I had to keep trying. Because otherwise, I’d be that old lady on the sidelines in orthopedic sneakers, watching the fit and fabulous jog by, graceful, effortless, and perfectly in sync.

Originally published June 18, 2011. Revised 2025

Published on Medium 

💬 Your Turn:

Have you ever signed up for something way outside your comfort zone—like a surprise 5K? Share your story in the comments—I’d love to hear how it went (even if it ended with coffee and couch time instead of cardio)!